she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
