drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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