Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
