i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
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whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
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Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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