i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
