Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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