Dual....:-)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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