I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
