I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
