if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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