I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
