my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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