I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
