her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
