Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize