The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
