i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
