I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
