I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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