I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
