There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
