What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
