God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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