She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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