how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
