The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
