don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
