Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it hurts more in the daytime
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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