i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can you repeat that, but with context?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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