Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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