Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
