That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
