Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
