I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
