im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dear god my vagina.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
