so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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