You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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