**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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