turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
