they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
