Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
