carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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