I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
