this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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