He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
