im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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