there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
