im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
