She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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