love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
