i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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