Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
