I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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