i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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