A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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