he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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