I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I would fuck him just for his dog
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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