ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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