I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
