I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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