Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
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